I’ve never had a team that played in a medal game at the School’s cup, but that’s not to say i’ve never coached a medal game. I’ve always helped out, and sometimes a bit more than an “assistant” should. I gave Chris’s team a lot of direction and motivation in their bronze medal win a couple of years back and did a lot of the talking in the timeouts.
Coaches don’t win games
However, i’m a firm believer that coaches don’t win medals, players do. And in that particular game, Chris took over midway in the deciding set and grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck. Cav was getting worked out after we lost a rally in the tight set, but i wasn’t worried and i said to him “it’s time to step back and let leadership take over”. Those boys definitely learnt something in those last 10 rallies.
Protecting the coach
So my job today would be to support the coaches wherever and let them do what they did best. I have a lot of empathy for coaches, and i know how to not impose. Sometimes i might need to point something out, but it’s important to me to never hijack the game from them. At this point, there are a lot of the other staff who want the school to win the medal and might try to help by telling the coach what to do. But the best thing to do is to let them do their thing. So part of my job is to insulate the coach from these influences. don’t let anything turn into a circus that will distract them. All the coaches of finals teams have less volleyball coaching experience than me. I can see if they miss stuff, but if the team’s going well it’s best i shut up and let them keep going.
The match schedule today ended up being:
- 10:00 – Semi Final: Open Girls v, Te Aroha
- 11:00 – Semi Final: U15 Div 2 boys v. Heathdale
- 13:00 – Gold Medal Game: U17 div 1 girls v. Santa Sabina
- 14:00 – Bronze Medal Game: U15 div 2 boys v. Paralowie
- 15:00 – Gold Medal Game: Open Girls v. Great Lakes
My open boys had the red eye duty at 8 followed by the 9th place playoff against heathfield straight after. We lost, the scores were close but the numbers lie. We didn’t have Chris or Schubert and heathfield dropped to our level but were always in control. Then it was off to help the Open Girls.
Open Girls Semi
Gianni had it covered. We lost the first set. Te aroha put a big fight up and Megan was struggling to hit a winner – they kept getting everything up. i could see at some points she was losing confidence. The passing wasn’t helping the setter. In between points i just cheered them on and urged them to just keep on swinging. I think in the timeout i told megan that she had to keep attacking no matter what and to make sure that she never looked worried. As the best player she had to put on a face that would give her team confidence and her opponents fear.
Kate and Megan hit really well. Bonnie and Casey served really well. I could see Bonnie’s arm hurting in her eyes, but she kept a poker face. I remember simone taking a big hit to the body that went back over the net and bought them some time to get a replay from a ball on court. it’s those little things that help.
They came back and won the next two sets, and a wave of elation came over Bonnie, Becky and Simone. they had lost this semi for the last 2 years. Bonnie confessed later that she was a bit worried after they lost the first set that history would repeat itself. The girls played brilliantly and i started getting emotional, which is hard these days. They were now 8 women who shared a vision for what they wanted and how they were going to get there, and they were doing it.
U15 div 2 boys semi
I had to get to the boys game right after. kate had told me her brother mike’s ankle was a bit sore and that he’d be going easy. i found him and told him to tell his team to help him by making the pass go to the right spot and slow down. i told him they would do that for him because they know he’s going to set up the winner. Moon is really good at firing these boys up and has a great rapport with them. it’s great to watch. when coaches have rapports like this, i try to stay out and just let it take it’s course.
The boys were nervous. Josh, one of their best hitters was just having a bad game. The look on his face just said he didn’t want to be there. He was low on confidence and making plenty of panic plays. he was getting away with some of them, but unless he got himself into the game, it would eventually cost them. thankfully the other team had a bad start and we managed to win the first set quite comfortably.
I could tell we got a bit lucky with heathdale getting off to a bad start. i told Moon that it won’t be so easy with this one and we’d have to fight a bit more. If we played like we did the last set, it’d be a new game. the set was close and the lead kept changing. we were getting weaker as the set went on, just clinging to stay in and get in front from time to time. in the end we lost 26-24. i could feel the confidence ebbing away.
In the last few rallies we took Josh off to talk to him and get his confidence back for the decider, he looked shell shocked. Moon spoke to him a bit, and then he sat down next to me. I told him his team needed him and that he had to focus on getting back in the game. I told him to sit up straight, stick his chest out and shoulders back because right now he was not inspiring a lot of confidence. I’m conscious of how my players look at coaches. One part of my job in these matches is to sit impassive and remain unnerved. if the most experienced guy isn’t worried, then neither should they.
The boys just looked dispirited in the third set. we put josh on and he did some good things in the backcourt. dario had been playing pretty well all game and had stepped up. Michael was setting pretty well. But we trailed the whole set. nothing went our way. Moon used all his timeouts at the right time but there wasn’t much anyone could do. Moon had taken this team as far as it could go, and it was now up to them to do the rest. They couldn’t get there, and eventually heathdale ran over them 15-8.
The loss was very emotional. some started crying. the dream had been so real in their heads for so long that the loss had become traumatic. they had really believed in the dream. It’s an awful thing to go through. But to lose like this is just as important to win, because you learn the lesson on the other side of the coin. and that’s the important part. I told the boys to remember how this feels, and to ask themselves if they want to feel this way again.
it wasn’t the losing that hurt them so bad, but how they played and knowing they could have played better. some of them played like zombies. at the end of that hour or so, you’re either going to win, or you’re going to lose. either way you should do it proudly and in control of yourself. It was painful for me to watch but i know this experience will only make them grow as people. Truth is a relative thing, and deciding sets in games like this are living proof. Both teams were part of the same game, but the truths that were learned by those boys were different on either side of that net.
It’s difficult what they do now with semi’s and medal matches on the same day. the teams that lose the semi’s have to pick themselves up and try to win a bronze within a couple of hours. I’ve been fortunate to play in gold and silver medal teams, but to tell you the truth i’ve never won a Bronze medal. I have never lost the game to get into the gold and then come back to win the Bronze. i don’t know exactly how they feel. But i know someone who has.
I found Simone, Bonnie and Becky and asked them how they felt those times they lost that semi, and how they got themselves back up to win the bronze. they said the first set was always hard and they didn’t want to be there, and then it clicks that they can still win a medal, and that they don’t want to go home without a medal. at that point it clicks. they said it requires a mind shift to say that you’ve lost the gold and silver but you can still win a medal. Being ever so nurturing, Simone decided to go find them and talk to them. It was nice for them to do that and share with the boys their experience there and how they got back up. there a good example that eventually you can get there.
About Fear
I asked Gianni and Princi if i could talk to the their Girls teams a bit before their game. I was going to be brief. I often give the calming speeches, and the other coaches give the fire-up ones. you don’t want to tell them too much before a game, so i’m mindful that i make sure i don’t confuse them with what the coach wants to say to them.
I wanted to talk to them about fear and nervousness. The speech about regrets is one i have used before but i wanted to make a more positive one. As this is my last coaching assignment, it would be the last time I would talk to players. What i talked about was quite close to my heart and I was getting a bit emotional. These sort of ideas are what i’m about as a coach.
My mother used to work as a community health worker with drug users and told me that when people take drugs their fears are amplified and they hallucinate. What they found is that running away from these fears and hallucinations often causes harm. It’s always counterintuitive but best to remain calm and move towards that fear and work out what’s behind it. Similarly if you’re out in the wild and you come across a wild animal. As soon as you run away from it you’re in a bit of trouble. the best thing to do is stay calm. It’s always calmest in the eye of the hurricane.
Volleyball isn’t that much different. there are plenty of things we fear as players. As hitters we fear hitting the ball into the net or out. As setters we’re worried we’ll set the ball over the net or stuff up the quick attack. As passers, we’re worried we’ll overshoot the ball over the net. As blockers we’re afraid we’ll touch the net. they’re all fears that get amplified when we make an error or what we do doesn’t pull off the way we wanted. But the answer isn’t to play a soft roll shot, set the ball loose off the net, pass the ball behind the attack line or block with your hands away from the net. I told Megan that if they keep getting the ball up against her it won’t help her to hit softer. I told Casey, Bonnie, Kara, Emily and Nikki that it wouldn’t help their hitters to set the ball loose off the net, close to them or too high. Because none of these things will help you prevent the things you fear most – losing.
And so when you feel a hint of fear, you have to use all your courage and run at it and tackle it. You can’t stop swinging at the ball, setting the ball aggressively, or passing it close to the net. You can’t let the fear chase you away, you have to run towards it. And it takes courage to do all these things and you should never let anyone tell you otherwise. Fear is fear. It might look different from time to time but it’s still the same thing that prevents you achieving that vision you have for yourself.
Once you’ve made that decision to tackle your fear, it’s irrelevant whether or not you succeed or fail, because you’ve made a decision with your life that you’re not going to run the other way. And that’s the difference between living and dying.
I also told the Open Girls i was really proud of them, about how they have gone about this week and their commitment to achieving their goal. They have set a great example for the younger kids. I said to them it’s rare to find people who share your vision for something and how to go about getting it and they should treasure the last game, because you may never get to work with people like this again.
I think they responded ok.
U17 div 1 girls gold medal match v. Santa Sabina

[Photo Courtesy of Spike Magazine. Back Row: Emily, Nikki, Amy, Taylor. Front Row: Rachael, Chantel, Kara]
Princi and the girls were fired up. They took the first set quite comfortably. there was a lapsemidway, but they held on to win. The other team look tired, and Amy and Chantel were firing winners. Rachel wasn’t hitting at her best but was making a lot of smart plays that won us points. Jake, who had been taking stats for most of their games noticed Amy had won a lot of points of serve so we got her to start serving in the second set.By now, the courts were getting quite hot and sweaty, so I made sure that the water bottles were filled. there’s nothing more irritating for a coach in timeouts and between sets trying to talk to his players and having them scrounge around for their bottles so i pretty much just helped as a waterboy refilling bottles and getting to them quickly whenever a timeout was called.
Amy started serving the second set and we won 8 points in a row. But Santa Sabina caught up and they started to win a lot of points off their serve. our confidence with passing was waning. Princi called a time out and I asked them if anyone was afraid of the serve to which they all yelled out “no”. i asked them who was going to nail this serve, and they all yelled out “me”. their spirits were quite high. They managed to get some confidence back on the pass but we lost the set 21-25.
The game was going into a decider. i wasn’t wortried, since our girls were playing a lot better. although Santa Sabina had scored a lot of points, most of them weren’t through rallies, but serves. So long as we were confident we could pass, i felt we had the advantage. While Princi worked out the rotation i spoke to the girls. I just asked them what they feared, and they shouted “nothing” in unison. I asked them if they were afraid of those serves, and the chorus of no’s came back. they were ready to win.
Princi set the rotation up so that Amy would serve first again and she came through giving us a 5 point lead. we changed ends at about 8-2. At 10-3 they called a ball we played out in and there was a lot of confusion between the referees and coaches.
The referee wanted to award us the point. the linesman said it was out and Princi said she should just call a replay. he was getting fired up. I tried to calm him down and told him he should sit down. whatever the result, the girls were on a roll and shouldn’t get distracted by this. He angrily yelled that at least the referee should learn to do something right if she wasn’t sure, and that if his girls couldn’t win from that scoreline, they didn’t deserve it. While this was happening they all huddled and kept their focus.
We eventually got awarded the point and the game went on. Chantel and Amy were really on, with Chantel playing some beautiful shots i had never seen from her. Amy was just aggressive at the net and serve, and Rachel kept winning the smart points. I can’t remember much from here. Santa Sabina were really dispirited. the second to last point we won was a quick attack by chantel that was perfect – the best quick ball i’d seen them play. The play the other team didn’t want to block. they didn’t even jump on it.
They won the match point and the crowd exploded, running in to join the girls on court with Princi. I stood back and clapped. I don’t like to run in. It’s their moment and I’d just cheapen it. I remember working a lot with these girls the year before last, but it’s really been Princi who has stuck with them so long and worked so hard for them this year. The moment is his and theirs alone. I gave him a big hug and told him him how much he deserved this what a great job he’s done all year. He thanked me for my help and then it was on to help the Yr 8 boys with their Bronze Medal match.
U15 Boys Div 2 v Paralowie
It was hard to watch, but the boys lost again in straight sets. they just looked like they lacked the desire and had the life sucked out of them when they lost that gold medal. After losing the first set, i thought they might have a chance still. Simone said that the desire usually kicked in for them then.
Unfortunately it did not. Perhaps it didn’t click that a bronze wouldn’t be handed to them and they had to fight for it. perhaps the medal just held no meaning for them once that gold medal was dead. I don’t know. All i could do was fill up the water bottles (which they went through a lot), suggest to Moon when to call the timeouts and give encouragement to the guys coming on and off the bench. Moon didn’t give up. he kept doing what he did best to fire up his team, but they just couldn’t respond. he had done everything he could, and the players couldn’t find the rest of the way. they’ll learn from this, and be stronger next year. i know it.
Brighton Boys
The Brighton Open Div 1 Boys played at 3:00pm too, and were leading in the third set of their bronze medal match against Monbulk by the time i finished up with the yr 8 boys. They ended up losing a couple of points near match point before winning. Liam’s mum, Terri was watching. over the years, she’s always found it hard to watch Liam’s close games. Once you work out there’s nothing you can do, it’s quite easy i think. I was really glad they had won a medal – it was their last year, and the same team had tried so many times falling short. i was happy for them but had to leave to get to the Open Girls Gold Medal Match against Great Lakes.
Open Girls Gold Medal match v Great Lakes

[photo courtesy of Spike Magazine. Back row L-to-R: Megan, Casey, Kate, Jordan. Front Row: Katrina, Becky, Bonnie, Simone, Giani]
The Girls simply played brilliantly and won in straight sets. they started both sets from 6-0 down and came back to win. Megan and Kate were hitting and serving at her best. Casey proved to be the surprise packet bagging a lot of early points spiking. they didn’t know what hit them. Bonnie continued winning a lot of points off her flat serves, and Jordan was just impassable blocking everything!
The game felt like it went for a long time. There were a lot of timeouts and it was quite hard to carry the drink holders and their hand-towels (yes, they were the only team smart enough to bring them). Gianni did a great job, but there was just no stopping these girls. There was never a point they weren’t in control of the game. When they won, i reckon the noise was even louder than when the U17 div 1 girls won. after all, there were some very jubilant U17 girls running in there to congratulate them. Again i stood backand watched them enjoy their moment. I gave Gianni an embrace and went in to shake the girls’ hands and pat them on the back when the crowd cleared.
Beer o’clock
There’s always some matches left before the closing ceremony starts. As the kids make it to the showcourt and are watched by some of the parents who have come down to watch, it’s a tradition for the coaches to go to the bar and Griff buys them drinks. I think they all had cougars except Siv and Kate who got some premixes and I had an iced tea. It was our best result yet with two gold medals. we had won bronzes and silvers in the last two years and only one gold the year before. I had sat through 5 straight medal matches and kept a calm face and was now quite glad to have it finished. some of the parents of the medal winners came by to thank me for my help. I was quite flattered for a waterboy!
Then it was time to make our way to the closing ceremony.